Guest Post by Katrina Monroe

by Katrina Monroe
Author of Sacrificial Lamb Cake

I’m scared of the dark. Terrified, actually. I can’t get into bed without a running leap from the doorway. I blame my grandfather for telling me this story:

            Once upon a time, there was a society of gnomes. These gnomes lived in the dark and liked it there. Then, one day, man appeared and shed light on the world of the gnomes. They were shown their ugliness, and for that they hated man. To get their revenge, they decided to hide in the dark corners that man never peers into—the closet, under the bed, and sometimes, under the pillow. When the time is right, they sneak out and eat the smallest of them (because gnomes have very small mouths).

            Then he said goodnight and turned off my nightlight. I was seven.

My grandfather is a great guy, despite his unusual sense of humor. Maybe that’s where I got mine from. That, and my Catholic upbringing.

             We were what people called C&E Catholics—Christmas and Easter (and sometimes Lent, if one of us was trying to lose weight via chocolate sacrifice). Earlier in my childhood, though, we were more devout. I even taught Sunday school for a brief stint. While most people think of handsy priests and sexually repressed nuns when they think of Catholicism, they often forget the time honored tradition of scaring the shit out of its followers.

            Ever see the movie The Exorcist? That’s basically Catholic dogma chewed up and spewed all chunky and green for mass consumption. The devil is real, they taught us, and he is going to get you.

            Like that story with the gnomes, the devil stuck with me all my life. Even as a struggling atheist—I say struggling because no matter what people say, it IS hard to let go of religion—Beelzebub worms his way into my thoughts and fears. So much so, that I can’t let myself think about him without a chill passing through my spine, or watch a horror movie with demon possession at the heart of the story. Give me vampires, zombies, disease, anything else, any day.

            They say that the best way to get over fear is to face it. So how was I supposed to face this fear of an imaginary villain figure?

            By making a fool out of him with my writing.

            In my novel, SACRIFICIAL LAMB CAKE, the devil is portrayed as a woman—Lucy—who has a short temper and a taste for human teeth. She likes to tease, taunt, and get into name-calling matches with other characters. She’s evil, but silly; a threat to other characters, but a caricature to me. Crunchy, but easily digestible.

            I don’t just write about the devil, though. Most of Christian lore has found its way into my writing, either as satire or as a way for me to examine it more deeply—to peel away the layers and thereby disrobe my mind of its propaganda. THE SEVEN AT WORK (forthcoming in TERRIBLE CHERUBS from DeadPixel Publications) is a short story in which I delve into the Seven Deadly Sins, how they manifest in daily life and how, as a Catholic, I believed there were external forces hell-bent on corrupting me in order to steal my eternal soul. Terrifying thought for a kid who just wants to get through the homily so she can eat a donut in the ladies’ hall. But by personifying these sins, and making them funny (Gluttony has quite the sarcastic tongue), I can look past the frightening outer layer and see them for what they really are—lessons in how not to be an asshole.

            A lot of people will probably see the bulk of my work as blasphemous. That’s because it is. And that’s okay. I don’t write for those people. Or maybe I do. Maybe they’re the ones who need to pick up SACRIFICIAL LAMB CAKE and look past that outer layer and discover what I hope will be a fun romp through what it means to be human. The point of fiction, what I believe the point is, anyway, is to take a mirror to the world and show it its dustiest corners. My dusty corner had a crucifix and a promise of eternal damnation for that time I shoplifted some eyeliner from WalMart. What’s in yours?

SACRIFICIAL LAMB CAKE
by Katrina Monroe

Oh. My. God.

Rain Johnson escaped the insanity of her radical environmentalist family, only to end up waitressing for a living. Her scale of success—with her at the bottom—only goes as high as that college degree she never got, until she gets one hell of an epiphany from a Trinity Corporation public-relations guy who calls himself Jude. He tells her she’s the Lamb of God, and it’s time for that whole Second Coming thing. But when her first minor miracle gets her arrested and an ecoterrorist using the name Messiah starts blowing up pesticide plants, Rain and Judas are in for way more apocalypse than either of them expected.

Jude scrambles to save his personal plan for salvation, but Lucy, the devil herself, has her own well-laid plans. It doesn’t matter that Rain’s a conflict-avoiding lesbian and Jude is history’s worst traitor. They’re all that stands between humanity and an end of the world that wasn’t supposed to happen.

LINKS:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Sacrificial-Lamb-Cake-Katrina-Monroe-ebook/dp/B00SHTY020//tag=redadeppubl-20%22

Barnes & Noble:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sacrificial-lamb-cake-katrina-monroe/1121227819?ean=2940151539258

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/sacrificial-lamb-cake

Apple: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id961467507

Google: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Katrina_Monroe_Sacrificial_Lamb_Cake?id=U1VnBgAAQBAJ

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23352504-sacrificial-lamb-cake

Author page on RAP:  http://redadeptpublishing.com/#!/Monroe-Katrina/c/12029173/offset=0&sort=normal

            

a Rafflecopter giveaway

AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Alan Geik

An interview with Alan Geik, author of Glenfiddich Inn, a historical fiction novel surrounding the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania, a pivotal moment in World War I. To commemorate the centennial of this historic event, Geik will be offering the Kindle edition of Glenfiddich Inn for free from May 1-7.

 

Hi! Welcome to Zigzag Timeline. Can you tell us about your background as an author?

Before Glenfiddich Inn my writing was non-fiction in two unconnected areas. I was an on-air public radio programmer of Afro-Cuban music in Los Angeles. I was asked to write several pieces for music publications which I did, and found it to be an especially exciting experience as I was able to utilize my first hand access to musicians, producers, and journalists in the U.S., Cuba and Puerto Rico.

Later, I was asked to produce CD compilations for Rhino Records, and I wrote the extensive liner notes for those releases. I also produced two CDs, one of which, Late Night Sessions, received two Grammy nominations, and I wrote those liner notes as well.

I have, and I suspect, always will have, a perverse interest in the massive international bank frauds enabled by the U.S. Congress and, in Europe, by their governing bodies. As I have an M.Sc. in economics from the London School of Economics, I found myself writing for several websites about these frauds, which have essentially impoverished much of the world over the past thirty years.

What was the first idea you had for your book, and how did the story grow from there?

I was working with an HBO producer on a treatment about the life and times of Carlo Ponzi—for whom the now often referenced “Ponzi Scheme” was named.  His scam, perpetrated in Boston, was based on an absurd moneymaking proposition—yet one that resulted in $10 million of losses to its many investors, and that was in 1920 dollars! Ponzi, a smalltime con man, was eventually done in by the unexpected success of this transparently fraudulent scheme.

While the film project did not make it to production, I was drawn to the events taking place in pre-WWI Boston. For one, Tufts College, outside of Boston, was a center for early experimentation in broadcasting—the transmission of wireless audio. Its’ enthusiasts called it “radio.”

Two of the female characters of Glenfiddich Inn are certain this new technology will soon connect the world in ways never before imagined—maybe even music could some day be heard in one’s home. However, the detractors dismissed these transmissions as a mere novelty—after all they asked, who would invest in a radio station if anyone with a receiver could listen to the content for free? Of course this was a precursor to the same argument made about the internet seventy years later.

Another thread in the pre-Great War Boston social tapestry that interested me was the arrival in 1914 of a teenage simpleton to the Boston Red Sox. His name was George Herman Ruth, who because of his size and adolescence was simply called “Babe” by the local sports writers. He was to become America’s first sports icon.

Babe Ruth, in my novel, becomes intertwined with two of the fictional characters and his trajectory from naïve pre-war teenager to a more cynical businessman by the end of the war parallels a similar transformation in American society.

One of the most dramatic events of the era is the sinking of the Lusitania by a German U-boat. Several of the characters in Glenfiddich Inn are aboard that doomed voyage and their fate is not known until well into the story.

Coincidentally, this May 7, 2015 will be the centennial of that tragedy. That day I will be offering free Kindle copies in commemoration of the event.

These are just some of the historical signposts that attracted me during the writing of this novel.

Among your characters, who's your favorite? Could you please describe him/her?

Joe Finnerty is a young Boston Irish Catholic bank president—with a strong disdain for anything British. He has a cheerful amorality with which William Morrison, the protagonist and bank vice president, has a growing discomfort.

Finnerty is as at-ease with war profiteering as he is with dipping into widows’ trust accounts deposited at his bank for safekeeping. My first vision of Finnerty was as a minor character. However, Finnerty propelled himself into the story and emerges playing a greater role. Ultimately, he redeems himself in an unexpected (by me also) manner left for the reader to discover.

Another favorite is Margaret Morrison, William’s wife, who is a sophisticated Bostonian of that era—one fully charged with indignation about the plight of working people and the surrounding cynicism or indifference regarding the destructive war still far away in Europe. Her commitment to the future of radio, and its’ misuse by the government when the war starts, impels Margaret down a dangerous path.

What's your favorite scene from your novel? Could you please describe it?

I never thought of that before you asked this question. I would say the scene that begins with Helen Townsend on the train from Boston to New York. She has been working as a graphic artist for President Woodrow Wilson’s 1916 re-election campaign. The trip to New York promises to be a great adventure for her for two reasons—

The next day’s presidential election is expected to be the closest in American history and the results will be, for the first time ever, read over the radio. Helen has been involved in the growth of this technology and so she has a special interest in hearing the presidential elections results being broadcast as the returns are counted.  It is expected that the signal will even be heard many miles from its radio station in Highbridge in the Bronx.

Equally exciting for Helen is a growing interest in Vincent Chelios, a member of Wilson’s re-election team. Although Helen is married, her husband Byron has left her on several occasions to seek boyish adventures as a foreign war correspondent. She is uncertain how Vincent feels about her, but she is excited just at the thought of being near him again—and away from the family in Boston.

What's your favorite part of writing? Plotting? Describing scenes? Dialogue?

My favorite part of writing this historical novel came to be the interaction of the fictional characters with the quick moving real events of the story. This period was so lush with drama and conflict that profoundly affected each character—I was never certain how they would react. All too often I was surprised by where they took me as the events unfolded.

How long does it take you to write a book? Do you have a writing process, or do you wing it?

I wrote this novel over several years. I didn’t sit at the computer for that amount of time and I often left the story while tending to the rest of my life. These intervals away from writing seemed to reinvigorate me as I many times found myself thinking about a character and a specific situation that I left them in. I felt like I had to accompany them through the moment and resolve it to still my own disquiet.

What is it about the genre you chose that appeals to you?

I have always been attracted to historical novels as well as narrative non-fiction. I remember the deep impression Barbara Tuchman’s Guns of August had upon me. Similarly, I found Norman Mailer’s The Naked and the Dead to be a profound reading experience. I can think of Cold Mountain as well. All of these are but few examples of terrifying moments in American and world history in which the authors gave the readers an insight unavailable in the dry historical context that are often presented to us.

Are there any books or writers that have had particular influence on you?

Beside the above, I have been deeply moved by the historical works of Gore Vidal. I can’t think of anyone who described so many eras in history in such illuminating brushstrokes.

As far as narrative non-fiction, another favorite author of mine is Erik Larson. His Devil in the City of Lights is a masterpiece of the genre—he integrates two parallel stories —the culture-changing Chicago World Fair of 1892 with the hunt for one of America’s first depraved serial killers stalking the Chicago train stations for young women attracted to the bright lights of the world fair.

His latest work Dead Wake is next on my reading list as it tells the story of the last voyage of the Lusitania—coincidentally a key historical moment in my novel. I’m looking forward to reading his account as I have done extensive research on that subject.

Did you ever surprise yourself when you were writing your book? Characters who took on lives of their own? Plot elements that took unexpected turns?

Actually all of Glenfiddich Inn took on a life of its own. As I mentioned before, the actual historical events shaped the characters as the story evolved. Of course, I always knew the war would end but how would the characters be transformed? So many surprises awaited me, including the Great Influenza Epidemic that swept the world just as the war came to a conclusion. But I may be giving too much away—so I’ll stop now. Thanks for having me!

Thanks for stopping by!

Links:

www.facebook.com/glenfiddichinn

www.twitter.com/GlenfiddichInn

http://www.amazon.com/Glenfiddich-Inn-Alan-Geik-ebook/dp/B00QXE80GI

BNG FRIDAY: Blink by Kate Moretti

Every Friday until its publication, I'm going to blog something about Brave New Girls: Tales of Girls and Gadgets, a YA sci-fi anthology featuring tech-savvy heroines. The goal is to encourage more girls to enter Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math professions. All revenues from sales of the anthology will be donated to a scholarship fund through the Society of Women Engineers.

Today, I'm spotlighting one of the stories that will be featured in Brave New Girls.

TITLE
Blink

AUTHOR
Kate Moretti

STORY DESCRIPTION

Meg Bryant knows what the kids say about her. She spends all her free time in her basement and, until last year, her closest confidante was Mr. Fitz, who also happened to be her eccentric science teacher. But now Mr. Fitz is gone, and he left her a time machine - along with a warning to tell no one about it.

Hell-bent on winning Science Expo, the regional science fair, Meg puts forth her best efforts. But then her whole life has explodes, alienating her friends. If she could use the time machine to re-do the day, she could fix everything. If only the stupid thing actually worked...

WHY WE PICKED IT
Blink is a fun time travel story featuring a clever and snarky protagonist, Meg. I love that Meg is a brilliant scientist who's unafraid to be as nerdy as she damn well pleases. Her scientific ambitions fit perfectly with the anthology's theme of girls in STEM. Yet despite her smarts, she also makes mistakes, which makes her relatable. The twists and turns Meg's time travel adventures take her on were loads of fun to read, and the story left me smiling at the end.

AUTHOR BIO

Kate Moretti is the New York Times Bestselling author of THOUGHT I KNEW YOU (Red Adept Publishing, 2012) and BINDS THAT TIE (Red Adept Publishing, 2014). She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, two kids, and a dog. She enjoys traveling and cooking, although with two kids, a day job, and writing, she doesn't get to do those things as much as she'd like. She's worked in the pharmaceutical industry for eighteen years as a scientist, and has been an avid fiction reader her whole life.

Her lifelong dream is to buy an old house with a secret passageway.

THOUGHTS ON BRAVE NEW GIRLS
"If my girls pursue careers in math or science, I want it to be in a world that isn’t impressed with their choices simply because they’re female. When I say I’m a scientist, people think it’s brainy. Like I'm some kind of unicorn. When a man says it, it’s practically mundane. I want that: for it to be mundane."

Website: http://www.katemoretti.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katemorettiwriter
Twitter: @KateMoretti1

BRAVE NEW GIRLS will be released in Summer 2015! Sign up here to receive a notification when it's available to order.

Choose Your Own Adventure in Publishing!

What happens once you write a book? Well, there are a number of paths you can take, each with their own advantages and disadvantages depending on what you’re hoping to accomplish. Let’s start at the very beginning:

WRITE THE BOOK

You let your ideas flow through your fingers and onto the page. If you’re a traditionalist, you scribble away on a piece of paper, lovingly connected to your words through the touch of a pen, then later type it up in word. Otherwise, you clack away on a keyboard the whole time. Either way, you end up with a story in a word processing document. Now, before you even reach the end of your story, you
have options:

Finish the book on your own: Advantages – The satisfaction of a completed work that is entirely yours, regardless of what the world thinks. If you are writing primarily for yourself, then this is the way to go. Disadvantages – You invest time and energy into something that may need to be rewritten, which will further drain you of time and energy. If you choose this option, go to FINISH THE BOOK

Get feedback on your story: Advantages – Improve your writing and storytelling. If you’re looking to appeal to an audience, then getting feedback on the early chapters of your book can give you insight into how to continue before you invest in the rest of your manuscript. Disadvantages – Everyone has different opinions, and you can’t please them all. You could get hung up on the early chapters and never complete your story. If you choose this option, go to GET EARLY FEEDBACK

GET EARLY FEEDBACK

You send your opening chapters to your friends and family who said they’d be willing to read them. Meanwhile, you want as many opinions as you can get, so you also join a local writing group. Just for good measure, you do a google search of online writing communities and find places such as Wattpad and Authonomy. The online writing communities generally only read the first chapter or so of your book, so it doesn’t matter that your book isn’t finished yet.

Your friends, family, writing peers, and online buddies comment on and pick apart your opening chapters. Some people love it and rave about how you will be the next Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, or Jodi Picoult. Others tell you that they see potential in your characters and ideas, but that there are some issues to be addressed. Your sentence structures are a little off. You have made a few grammatical errors. Some of your content would be stronger if you were to revise it. Perhaps your opening few paragraphs need more of a hook. Wisely, you listen to these people. Those who rave let you know that you have something with real promise, and those who kindly critique let you know how you can take your book to the next level. Now, there are also a few who tell you that your book is no good. At first, they make you want to rip up the manuscript, hide under a bed, and never see the light of day again. But eventually, you learn to shake your head and move on.

Now, armed with knowledge from the critiques and confidence from the praise, you settle down to write the rest of your story. Go to FINISH THE BOOK.

FINISH THE BOOK

Your words tumble onto the page as your story reaches its final conclusion. Congratulations! You now have a completed novel. For some people, the adventure ends here, and the manuscript remains a part of a private collection, to be shared only with intimate friends and family. If this sounds like, you then go to RETURN TO YOUR LIFE.

However, if this isn't you, then that means you want your book to go places! So what do you do? Well you have a few choices...

Get feedback on the completed novel: Advantages – Learn what works and doesn’t work in your novel, which will help you perfect it. Disadvantages – Again, you can’t please everyone, and there will undoubtedly be some who will dislike your work. If you are very, very confident in your work, then proceed to one of the following steps. Otherwise, go to GET FEEDBACK ON THE COMPLETED NOVEL.

Post the book online: Advantages – Immediately reach your audience without the pressures of being officially “published.” Disadvantages – Your book will be visible to the world, and some unscrupulous knaves may steal it. Also, posting online may prevent you from submitting the book later if you change your mind. Some publishers require that a book never have been displayed publicly in its entirety. If you choose this option, go to POST THE BOOK ONLINE

Attend a writing conference: Advantages – Network with key industry people, including agents and publishers. There’s nothing quite like face-to-face time. Disadvantages – Writing conferences can be expensive and time-consuming, and there’s no guarantee that you’ll get anything out of it. If you choose this option, go to FORMAT THE MANUSCRIPT

Self-Publish: Advantages – No middleman, no gatekeeper. You are the master of your own fate. Disadvantages – You will have to invest your own time, energy, and money. If you choose this option, go to SELF-PUBLISH

Query the book in hopes of getting traditionally published: Advantages – The possibility of a publishing contract from a traditional house and all the bells and whistles aspiring authors dream of. Disadvantages – You can only submit to any place once. If you submit before you are ready, you could inadvertently close doors. If you choose this option, go to FORMAT THE MANUSCRIPT.

GET FEEDBACK ON THE COMPLETED NOVEL

You send the manuscript to your family and friends who are thrilled that you had the ambition to write a novel. They are your beta readers; they’re your way of testing how your story fares with regular folk. They give you their gut reactions to your story. Some things they love, others they dislike, others they are confused by. You pay special attention to the things that confuse them and edit your manuscript to make things clearer. Otherwise, you take their opinions of what they liked and disliked into account as you decide whether you want to make further changes.

Meanwhile, you also look for a local writing group to get opinions. Or you go online and find writing communities, like Wattpad or Authonomy. Either way, you get critiques from fellow writers. Most only read your opening chapters. You read their opening chapters in return and swap critiques. Now, you may have been through this step before during GET EARLY FEEDBACK, in which case, you have extra experience with handling how others view your yet-unborn book baby. Fellow writers often have more insights, but they also have stronger opinions. You tread carefully and take some of their critiques. Others, you choose to ignore due to fundamental creative differences. You run into a few people online who believe your book is garbage. If this is your first foray into the shark tank of peer critiques, you rage and cry and curl up under your bed and contemplate smashing your computer. If not, then you just grumble internally and maybe rant privately to a confidante. Either way, you eventually shake your head and move on.

After receiving feedback, you edit your manuscript. Some time has passed since you last laid eyes on it, which has done wonders for your perspective. You clarify things that readers found confusing, clean up your grammar, and revise. Some parts you even rewrite, for in your initial, creatively-possessed state, you didn’t realize how silly they sounded from an external point of view. Now, you may repeat the process of getting feedback as many times as you’d like. You may also repeat the process of setting your book aside and then returning to it with a fresher perspective.

Finally, you have perfected your manuscript to the best of your ability. There are likely still errors – nobody’s perfect – but it’s as close to a finished product as you can get on your own. Now, you’re ready for an audience. You have a few options:

Post the book online: Advantages – Immediate connection with readers without the pressure of being “published.” Disadvantages – Some unscrupulous knaves may steal your work. Also, posting online may prevent you from submitting the book later if you change your mind. Some publishers require that a book never have been displayed publicly in its entirety.

Attend a writing conference: Advantages – Network with key industry people, including agents and publishers. There’s nothing quite like face-to-face time. Disadvantages – Writing conferences can be expensive and time-consuming, and there’s no guarantee that you’ll get anything out of it. If you choose this option, go to FORMAT THE MANUSCRIPT

Self-Publish: Advantages – No middleman, no gatekeeper. You are the master of your own fate. Disadvantages – You will have to invest your own time, energy, and money. If you choose this option, go to SELF-PUBLISH

Query the book in hopes of getting traditionally published: Advantages – The possibility of a publishing contract from a traditional house and all the bells and whistles aspiring authors dream of. If you submit before you are ready, you could inadvertently close doors. If you choose this option, go to FORMAT THE MANUSCRIPT.

POST THE BOOK ONLINE

You create a cover graphic for your book. You then upload your entire book onto an online reading website, such as Wattpad or Authonomy. You write out a back-of-the-book-type summary and post it on your book’s profile. You tell the community about your new book and send the links around to your family and friends. Readers – not fellow writers seeking read swaps – find your work and enjoy it because it’s entertaining and free. They point out some of your errors, but you don’t mind. After all, it’s not like you’re charging money. They rate your book, recommend it to their friends, and leave comments.

Your journey may end here. You now have a completed book available to the public. Readers seeking your type of book can find it, and because you’re not charging any money, they won’t hesitate to read it if it appeals to them. You’ve had your fun as a writer, and now you have both the closure that comes with completion and the freedom to return to your regular life. If you are satisfied, you can RETURN TO YOUR LIFE. But if you are not, choose one of the following options:

Write another book: Advantages – You had a blast, and you have more ideas for stories. Why not do it all again? After all, you’ve been through the process once, and you know better now. Perhaps your new book will be the next Hunger Games or Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Disadvantages – Writing is time-consuming and energy-draining, not to mention it will do funny things to your head, as you recall from this last little adventure. If you’re ready to do it all again, go to WRITE A BOOK.

Attend a writing conference: Advantages – Network with key industry people, including agents and publishers. There’s nothing quite like face-to-face time. Disadvantages – Writing conferences can be expensive and time-consuming, and there’s no guarantee that you’ll get anything out of it. If you choose this option, go to FORMAT THE MANUSCRIPT

Self-Publish: Advantages – No middleman, no gatekeeper. You are the master of your own fate. Disadvantages – You will have to invest your own time, energy, and possibly money. If you choose this option, go to SELF-PUBLISH

Query the book in hopes of getting traditionally published: Advantages – The possibility of a publishing contract from a traditional house and all the bells and whistles aspiring authors dream of. If you submit before you are ready, you could inadvertently close doors. If you choose this option, go to FORMAT THE MANUSCRIPT.

FORMAT THE MANUSCRIPT

You’re serious about getting published, so you put your book into proper manuscript format. No more pretty fonts or funny colors you added for your own sake. A properly formatted manuscript is meant to present the words, the whole words, and nothing but the words. After all, agents and editors must read thousands and thousands of words a day, and this can make them very grumpy. An improperly formatted manuscript could be taken as a sign of disrespect, as if you didn’t care, and your book will be tossed out before it’s even seen.

Well, you don’t want that. You double space your story, ensure that your font is a standard like Times New Roman, add page numbers, and put your name and title in the header. You create a cover page, which includes the title, your author name, address and contact information, and a word count rounded to the closest thousands. You also make sure to have page breaks between chapters, and to make sure that your chapter headings are bolded.

Now, you have a proper manuscript, ready for serious consideration. What are you going to do?

Attend a writing conference: Advantages – Network with key industry people, including agents and publishers. There’s nothing quite like face-to-face time. Disadvantages – Writing conferences can be expensive and time-consuming, and there’s no guarantee that you’ll get anything out of it. If you choose this option, go to PREPARE A PITCH

Query the book in hopes of getting traditionally published: Advantages – The possibility of a publishing contract from a traditional house and all the bells and whistles aspiring authors dream of. Disadvantages – You can only submit to any place once. If you submit before you are ready, you could inadvertently close doors. If you choose this option, go to PREPARE A PITCH. 

PREPARE A PITCH

Your book is awesome, and you know it. You want to make sure agents and publishers – and readers – know it as well. Your pitch must be more than a simple back-of-the-book type of summary, since it’s going to be seen by experienced professionals. The most important part of your pitch is your query, as this is the most commonly seen part of your pitch. But it’s not all there is – some agents and publishers will also ask for a synopsis. Also, in case you run into an agent on the elevator, you want to be able to tell them how awesome your book is before they get off on their floor.

You start with the query, the bait. You’re not trying to tell people everything that happens in your book; you’re trying to get them to read the freaking thing. Your query opens with a respectful “Dear [Agent/Editor Name].” You mull over your story and distill its essence into a single sentence. This sentence, often compared to a movie logline, must answer the following: a) Who is the protagonist? b) Where/when does the story take place? c) What’s the conflict? Your first sentence also lets the agent/editor know what kind of story they’re in for, be it chick lit, horror, fantasy, memoir, literary fiction, etc.

Your first sentence is a paragraph by itself. Next comes the “description” part of your query. You start a new paragraph. This next paragraph provides more details about what’s going to happen. Again, you don’t want to tell people everything – you’re trying to tempt them. Tease them. You want to make them curious. You finish your paragraph with a cliffhanger of sorts, which will hopefully entice the reader to want the answers.

Your last paragraph, which is only a few sentences long, tells the reader point-blank what kind of book you’re submitting. You tell them your novel’s title, approximate word count, and genre. Just for good measure, you throw in a few descriptive adjectives, such as “suspenseful” or “quirky.” You may compare your book to others in your genre to give the reader an idea of what kind of market you're going for (if you do this, pick a book that was published within the last five years or so). You also write a sentence or two about yourself – who you are, what your background as a writer is (courses you took, awards you’ve won, things you’ve published in the past). You finish your query with an offer to send in the full manuscript if it is requested and a polite note thanking the agent/publisher for their consideration, then sign it with your name.

You revise your query. You even solicit feedback on it. It’s your lure, after all, and the fate of your book could rest on this one short little letter.

Meanwhile, you also write your synopsis. Your synopsis, which is one or two pages in length, is written in present tense, and it summarizes what happens in the book. You don’t want to hold back on what happens; this is not a lure, but a presentation of the facts. You reveal any twists and end with the conclusion.

By the time you finish your query and synopsis, you have a pretty good idea as to what makes your book awesome. Using your query for inspiration, you find a way to tell others what your book’s about and why it’s awesome in about thirty seconds. You never know after all – you could run into Ms. Agent at the gym, and the last thing you want is to be caught tongue-tied.

Now, your pitch is ready. You can either:

Attend a writing conference: Advantages – Network with key industry people, including agents and publishers. There’s nothing quite like face-to-face time. Disadvantages – Writing conferences can be expensive and time-consuming, and there’s no guarantee that you’ll get anything out of it. If you choose this option, go to ATTEND A CONFERENCE

Query the book in hopes of getting published: Advantages – The possibility of a publishing contract. Disadvantages – You can only submit to any place once. If you submit before you are ready, you could inadvertently close doors. If you choose this option, go to SUBMIT THE BOOK. If you're getting cold feet about your book's potential at this stage, then go back to GET FEEDBACK ON THE COMPLETED NOVEL.


ATTEND A CONFERENCE

You schedule your vacation days and book your tickets. Your manuscript and pitch are ready, and you’re prepared to be an author, not just a writer. This is going to be awesome.

You arrive at the conference. You attend a few workshops and a couple of networking events. You pitch your book to agents and editors, even other writers. After all, you never know who can help you out. You zero in on those who are interested in your kind of book. After all, there’s no point wasting your breath on a chick lit editor if you write graphic horror. You smile, shake hands, and collect contact information. Some agents or editors might think your book sounds awesome and ask that you send them the full manuscript. If this happens, then you do your best to contain your giddy grins as you politely tell them that it will be in their inbox a.s.a.p. Many may not think your story is quite their thing, but it’s okay. As you’ve been telling yourself from the beginning, you can’t please everyone.

You finish the conference. At this point, you've either charmed your way into the hearts and memories of a handful of key contacts, or you've had no bites. Flip a coin to see which happened to you.

Heads – Congrats! You were the belle of the ball, and at least one agent or editor wants to hear more about your book. You send off your manuscript to those who requested it. You then return home and wait for responses. At this point, you have two options. You can either continue to SUBMIT THE BOOK to others, or you can just wait to RECEIVE RESPONSES FROM AGENTS or RECEIVE RESPONSES FROM PUBLISHERS.

Tails – Sad day. If you still believe in your story, you can either GET FEEDBACK ON THE COMPLETED NOVEL again in hopes of figuring out why no one was interested, or you can decide that the conference's particular crowd wasn't your type, but others out there might still like your book. If you decide on the latter case, then go ahead and SUBMIT THE BOOK to others. However, if the lack of interest has discouraged and disillusioned you, then you always say "enough" to this whole writing thing and RETURN TO YOUR LIFE.

SUBMIT THE BOOK

You’re ready for your book to be considered for publication. However, many publishers won’t accept books without an agent. Those that do are small, independent publishers that are often new. You can either:

Submit to agents: Advantages – An agent is required if you want to go big. The right agent can land you in a top publishing house with a nice, fat advance. Disadvantages – There really are no disadvantages to querying agents, unless you dislike the idea of big publishers.

Submit to small publishers: Advantages – Small publishers are more open-minded about the kinds of books they accept. They’re more willing to go out on a limb if they believe in your book’s merits, and you’ll probably see your book in print sooner than if you go through an agent, who would have to take time to negotiate contracts with large publishers. Disadvantages – Opportunity cost. In your eagerness, you may accept a contract from a small publisher before your book has a chance to make the rounds in the big leagues.

SUBMIT TO AGENTS

You find a list of agents and filter them by the kinds of books they represent. You check their websites for submission guidelines and send them your query. If they ask for one, you also send them your synopsis. Possibly even your first chapter or so, depending on what they want. Knowing what’s what can be hard to keep track of, but agents sift through hundreds, even thousands, of queries on a regular basis. People who ignore their explicit directions make them grumpy and get ignored, so be sure to follow their instructions.

Now, you’ve sent out your flurry of queries. You have two options:

Wait: You're dead set on going traditional traditional, with an agent and, hopefully, a big publisher. Advantages – A shot at going big and having someone to help manage your writing career. Disadvantages – A longer timeline, if you're planning to exhaust your agent options before trying other routes. If you choose this option, all you can do is wait to RECEIVE RESPONSES FROM AGENTS. 

Submit to small publishers simultaneously: Advantages – A shorter timeline than waiting to exhaust your agent options. Disadvantages – You're on your own to vet potential publishers. If you choose this option, go to SUBMIT TO SMALL PUBLISHERS.

SUBMIT TO SMALL PUBLISHERS

You find a list of small, independent publishers willing to take unsolicited submissions and filter them by genre to see which ones would be interested in your book. These publishers are very dedicated, but they likely won’t have the resources to offer you an advance. Also, they won’t have as much media clout, so you’ll have to do most of your own publicity. But you don’t mind; if they’re willing to take a risk on you, then you’re willing to take a risk on them.

You are careful, though, as some scammers that are actually vanity presses will pose as small presses. If a publisher asks for money for editing services or whatever, you immediately turn them away. You would be better off self-publishing. You vet these publishers by looking them up on Writer Beware, Preditors and Editors, Absolute Write forums, etc. to make sure they're not vanity publishers in disguise.

After weeding out the scammers, you go to the small publishers’ websites, look over their submission guidelines, then send them exactly what they ask for. Some will ask only for a query, others will ask for a synopsis as well, and others will ask for a partial or full manuscript on top of that.

Having finished submitting, you wait to RECEIVE RESPONSES FROM PUBLISHERS.

RECEIVE RESPONSES FROM AGENTS

You wait. You hold your breath. You try not to get your hopes up, but can’t stop yourself from dreaming.

Then, the responses start rolling in. Most are generic copy-and-paste rejections. They’re plenty polite, and many remind you that publishing is a subjective industry and that you should try elsewhere. A tiny handful might find your query interesting and ask for a partial manuscript. Some might even ask for the whole thing. Flip a coin to see what happens to you.

Heads – Congrats! An agent loved your book! Go to YOU LAND AN AGENT

Tails  – Alas, the agents aren’t interested. Don’t take it personally. Agents are people, after all, and it’s hard to tell what people will like. Maybe you wrote a space opera, and they’re just not that into space operas. Maybe they really like your idea, but they just signed something very similar. It’s impossible to know for sure, so keep calm and carry on. You still have options. You can either:

Submit to small publishers: Advantages – Small publishers are awesome. They’re dedicated to you and truly believe in their projects. Disadvantages – Some small publishers won’t do much more for you than you could on your own. In fact, some may be scammers posing as small publishers. Tread carefully. If you choose this option, go to SUBMIT TO SMALL PUBLISHERS.

Self-Publish: Advantages – No middleman, no gatekeeper. You are the master of your own fate. Disadvantages – You will have to invest your own time, energy, and money. If you choose this option, go to SELF-PUBLISH

Of course, if you’ve had enough fun with this particular novel, you could either try again to WRITE A BOOK or simply RETURN TO YOUR LIFE.

YOU LAND AN AGENT

You beat out hundreds, maybe thousands of other writers for a coveted agent. You review the contract and sign on the dotted line. Ms. Agent will get a percentage of your advance and royalties – standard is 15% for domestic and 20% for foreign. So it’s in her best interests to get you the best possible deal, since she makes money when you make money.

But wait—you’re not quite finished yet. Ms. Agent has some revisions she’d like you to work into your manuscript. She may retitle your book to make it more marketable. You take her advice to heart. After all, she’s a professional who knows the industry. You work with her to rewrite and revise and whip your book into extra shiny shape.

Then you wait. Ms. Agent could take a year or more to find the right publisher for your book. All you can do, aside from work on any further revisions she asks for, is wait to RECEIVE RESPONSES FROM PUBLISHERS.

RECEIVE RESPONSES FROM PUBLISHERS

Your book is being considered by people who might invest money in your talents. They’re meeting to determine whether you’re worth it. You pace around your den as you wait, doing your best not to stew.

What happens next in your adventure is largely up to chance. Maybe your book is brilliant, but one of the big publishers just signed a celebrity author to write something similar, and nobody wants to compete with that. Maybe your genre isn’t that popular right now. Or maybe it falls into the hands of the right editor, one who loves all the same things as you do. Flip a coin to determine what happens next:

Heads – Holy cabooses! Someone wants your book baby! Go to YOU GET A PUBLISHING CONTRACT

Tails – Sorry, the publishers aren’t interested. It could be that your book doesn’t fit their tastes. Or maybe they like it but don’t think they can sell it. Or maybe it just wasn’t in good shape. In any case, the doors aren’t closed. If you really believe in your story, you could:

Self-Publish: Advantages – No middleman, no gatekeeper. You are the master of your own fate. Disadvantages – You will have to invest your own time, energy, and money.

If you don’t think the self-publishing journey is worth the investment, you can either try again and WRITE A BOOK or simply RETURN TO YOUR LIFE.

SELF-PUBLISH

You're are the captain of your own journey now. You get to control all the things. You have tons of options, and there's no one right answer. You can hire editors, proofreaders, artists, publicists, and more and basically turn yourself into a one-person publishing house. Or you can pick and choose just the ones you think you really need  – maybe just a proofreader because you're confident in your book's overall language and structure and are pretty handy with Photoshop. Maybe you're certain you've got the word stuff down but want someone else to make it look nice, so you hire an artist who specializes in book covers and formatting. Maybe you stick with Print-on-Demand because it's low risk, since you only buy wholesale books when you need them. Maybe you want more printing options than POD offers, so you choose to print a thousand copies at once from a more traditional printer and store them in your garage.

Fact is, self-publishing has so many options, it could be its own "Choose Your Own Adventure" game. Whichever options you end up choosing, you now have your book. It's out there for the world to discover. You'll have to work hard to market it of course, by having bookstore signings, or publicizing it online though blog tours, or writing "Choose Your Own Adventure" posts on your own blog in hopes of getting someone to notice your pretty covers in the sidebar.

This book is, for all intents and purposes, finished. You can either RETURN TO YOUR LIFE, or, if you're ready to do it all again  –  possibly pick different options this time, or just hope for better luck  – you can go back up to WRITE A BOOK. 

YOU GET A PUBLISHING CONTRACT

Cheers and cartwheels! You're going to be a published writer! Now that you've signed on the dotted line, it's time to get cracking.

Publishers come in all shapes and sizes, from the titans such as Random Penguins... err... Penguin Random House to micro-presses that put out three books a year. Editors also come in all shapes and sizes. Some will rip your book apart at the seams and then tell you to put it back together in a way that makes it better. Others will think it's good to go and just correct a few grammatical issues. Your level of input will vary based on publishers too. Some publishers, especially small presses, are very chummy with their authors and want you to be happy every step of the way. Others... less so.

The whole world behind the curtain of publishing has so many different facets and options that it could be a "Choose Your Own Adventure" game of its own. Whatever ends up happening, your book ultimately comes out. Congrats! You are now a published author.

You now have your book. It's out there for the world to discover. You'll have to work hard to market it of course, by having bookstore signings, or publicizing it online though blog tours, or writing "Choose Your Own Adventure" posts on your own blog in hopes of getting someone to notice your pretty covers in the sidebar.

This book is, for all intents and purposes, finished. You can either RETURN TO YOUR LIFE, or, if you're ready to do it all again  –  possibly pick different options this time, or just hope for better luck  – you can go back up to WRITE A BOOK.

RETURN TO YOUR LIFE

Your foray into writing is finished. It was fun while it lasted, but between your job and your family, you don’t have time to delve into it further. Smile and enjoy your blissful normalcy, you lucky duck.

But all good things must come to an end. The story bug bites you, and you once again find yourself unable to contain your ideas. Go to WRITE A BOOK.